the old hijinx blog

a few months back i bought the domain name rebel-alliance.net off ebay. considering domain names typically go for about $10, i paid a lot more and therefore a stupid amount for this domain name.

why would i do this? am i some sort of closet star wars jerk? no. it’s something perhaps even geekier. years back when i was 18 or 19 years old, i was obsessed with an E/N site that housed itself at the same domain name (an E/N site is what we used to call blogs before the term blogs was coined. except they were generally much more entertaining than blogs, because they weren’t just shitty musings on some jackass’s day-to-day affairs. they actually had content).  it’s years later now, but you can still see the influence of that site on my shitty blog here (i have shamelessly, yet admittedly stolen a handful of concepts from that old site). if you care, you can take a trip to days past and see what was so appealing to me by visiting the Wayback Machine’s archive of the site that captured my young mind here.

anyway, i’ve had the domain pointing to this page here since i’ve bought it, which is just a page indicating that the site is under new management, while mimicking the original site’s design and begging people to do the work for me and come up with a decent idea of what to do with the domain (it also links to the old owner’s new blog, which is almost as funny as the old rebel-alliance network). now i’ve pointed the domain name to this particular blog post that you currently have your stupid eyes on since i still have no clue what i’ll be doing with the domain.

but hey, comments are open, have at it.

I’ve done a lot of stupid things, so really this shouldn’t be too surprising.

In December, after participating in NO SHAVE NOVEMBER and growing a mighty beard (which really isn’t too abnormal, I’m usually too lazy to shave), I made the not-so-well-thought-out agreement to participate in Mustache March. I also convinced a handful of my coworkers to do the same. After planning for months, and growing out a beard in February to ensure a spectacular mustache in March, my efforts have come to fruition.

Prior to shaving, full beard in effect

Originally my thinking was that, if I'm going to do this, do it right: Hogan 'Stache.

That proved to be a terrible idea, so I went with the 80's porno 'stache.

 And, so now, I am forced to walk around looking like a rapist. I have a job interview coming up this month, and anyone who willingly hires someone with a mustache is probably not someone I want as a boss anyway. I also have family gatherings to attend to this month, where I will have to explain my more-ridiculous-than-usual appearance. And, of course, not to mention the day-to-day chores and activities that will force me to be in the public’s judging eyes.

I am fucking dumb.

Most of you are aware that I work for a bank. Fortunately, I’m not an idiot teller or some other equally terrible entry-level job, however the work is still fairly painful and mind-numbingly monotonous.

Some Canadian fool named Myles sent me this Kids in the Hall skit a few days ago. I’m not so sure it’s supposed to make me feel any better.

YouTube Direct

And why isn’t everyone using the phrase “I’ll eat pancakes on her grave!”