P.O. Box 1528 The Peoples State Bank To Whom it May Concern: Hello money managers! This summer I took a trip to the lovely state of Indiana. I live in California, and I made the trip by automobile with three other individuals (in a Honda Civic! Boy was it cramped!). One of the four of us smelled very foul, I'll tell you what, but we just didn't have the heart to tell him. We actually picked him up in Arizona (we had made prior arrangements). Looking back, he was a real jerk. He is, however, back in Arizona now, so he's no longer our problem, nor Indiana's! Hurray! But I digress. We started our trip in my small but conservative hometown of Upland, California, driving through Arizona, then New Mexico, after that it was Texas, then on to Oklahoma, right on through Missouri, blazing through Illinois, and finally, ending in marvelous Bloomington, Indiana. It was in Bloomington that I came across a cute little branch of The Peoples Bank. Now, my friends, I didn't want to make a big deal at the time, or cause a scene, but something about your company made me angry. I'm not one that's quick to anger, but this one had me boiling over! If my friend (not the smelly one) wasn't there to calm me down, I would have flown off the handle and caused a ruckus. Luckily I didn't! As a matter of fact, I soon forgot about the problem and your bank entirely. It wasn't until recently, as I was doing research on the internet looking for a new bank to put my money in, that I was reminded of you. Now, I can't keep my funds there with you (I'm back in California these days, and this would be impractical), but I was reminded of what angered me so greatly during my trip to Indiana (see above paragraph). I'm not so angry any more, but the thing that made me so mad needed to be brought to your attention so that in the future we don't see more of the same... See, I'm a very meticulous man, and I couldn't help but notice that your company name should be The People's State Bank, NOT The Peoples State Bank. There's one small detail in there someone must have overlooked! Have you found it yet, my friends? It is, indeed, an apostrophe, a punctuation mark used to show possession. At first I thought it was just a mistake of this particular Bloomington, IN branch. Turns out, it's an enterprise-wide problem. This is gravely unprofessional. Shame on you. I hope, now that it's been brought to your attention, that it will be corrected without haste. I guarantee you it will result in much better financial success for your company! Now, my friends, I point this out only out of the goodness of my heart, however you are welcome to add me to your payroll as a Grammatical Consultant, if you so see fit. Either way, please fix this blunder immediately, as it is a mockery of the basic principles of the English language. When slip-ups like this are allowed to run rampant, it's no wonder literacy is so poor in this country. Please respond immediately regarding this matter, so that I may finally get some rest. Sincerely, William J. Hank |