However, Twitter was all, uh, atwitter with rumors of his death, as was Wikipedia and other similar sources that we all take very seriously.

In order to do my part and offer clarity to the confused, I set up the following website you may visit in the event that you ever have any questions as to the status of Limbaugh’s life:

http://www.IsRushLimbaughDeadYet.com

Thank you for your time. Hopefully Limbaugh’s people contact me.

Look, I have no clue where this photo originates. But I was very pleased to learn that it exists. There’s really nothing in particular I need to say about this. I mean, look at these fucking guys.

That is all.

and even though i wasn’t prepared for any responses, i sure did get a few. i know at least a handful of these are just spambots, but something in me says that many of them are legit. had i been better prepared, i would have dedicated some time to responding to some of these and creating even more ridiculous conversations. but perhaps that’s a project for some other time. for now, here are the type of people who enjoy Motley Crue, nachos, and making out:

[IF YOU DON'T SEE THEM ALREADY, CLICK THE READ MORE LINK TO READ THE RESPONSES]

email me pics

hello..

I just moved here last week, finally settled in but getting bored,
ready to check things out, you know?

I dont use email very much though so heres my aim ‘xxxxxxxxxxx’

I am very interested in your ad..Send me a message on yahoo 22/f
“xxxxxxxx@yahoo.com”

heyyyyy, whats going on?? im interested in your post, sounds cool…
so how would you want to do this?

let me know

hi How are ya? I’m trying to set up my weekend to go out and have a
great time and your post hooked me.} Message me when you can so I know
you’re a real person and we can make plans. Tyl

I like you’re post, I’d like to talk to you a bit so that we can get
to know one another a little b4 meetin But anyways mail me back n we
can see whats up. Talk with you l8r!

Aloha I am just checking to see if you are real or not.  Holler back
if you are, and we’ll go from there.

Heya I saw your post, have pix?

Hi just lookin on CL and read your post wanted to see whats what so
mail me back and we can talk

Hey! I just saw your posting on CL! Here’s a little information about me…I’m a Spanish born in from NY. I speak French and Italian…and English hehe! I hate being lazy, but if the right person comes along I don’t care spending all day in bed! I want to meet a someone who doesn’t take life too seriously! If you want to see my photos you can go to xxxxxxxxx@gmail.com & there’s some information on me! I hope to hear from you! Send me some of your pics! Adios!!

I had seen ur ad on craigslist, I figured I’d mail a mail bcause I
figured we may hit it off. If u want, I can take some pics and send
them but mail me first. Why dont you tell me a little about yourself
and what you would ta know bout me?

Hello I was checking out the casual encounters posts wondering what I was going to do tonight and came across your post… I must admit I’m definitely interested.  Did I mention I’m also from Inland Empire?

Hope you can keep up with me, and expect looks from other guys when you take me out for a night on the town in San Diego.  I’m a big Lakers fan if you can believe that, so you better be able to hold your own with me when it comes to sports.

Please get back to me I’m very interested in what an adventure with you may be like, in the meantime if you wanna see my pics theyre right here –>    http://www.netmeeting1.com/inland/urfantasygurl    I also have yahoo and AIM if you wanna talk with me online just let me know.

bye sweetie,
Ur Hot Blonde

Heya I like ur post so here I am. Do you want to do something together
for this weekend? Msg me back b/c I’d like 2 hear from u.

How are you? I came across you’re post on craigslist and I thought we
could get together for drinks this week. Let me know and we’ll set
something up soon.  Bye

I liked ur posting, I’d like to talk to u a bit so that we can get to
know each other a little b4 meeting. But yeah mail me back n we can
chat. Talk with you later!

Heya, just lurking on CraigsList and saw your listing and I’m
interested. Prove ur not fake and we can chat later. Bye

I looked at ur post on CL, I thought I’d send a reply cause I thought
we will get along. If you want I can take some photos and send them
but mail me I cant now though because I’m busy. How about telling me a
bit about yourself and what you’d like to know bout me?

Heya just saw youre post r you online?

photos from the trip

why would i do this? am i some sort of closet star wars jerk? no. it’s something perhaps even geekier. years back when i was 18 or 19 years old, i was obsessed with an E/N site that housed itself at the same domain name (an E/N site is what we used to call blogs before the term blogs was coined. except they were generally much more entertaining than blogs, because they weren’t just shitty musings on some jackass’s day-to-day affairs. they actually had content).  it’s years later now, but you can still see the influence of that site on my shitty blog here (i have shamelessly, yet admittedly stolen a handful of concepts from that old site). if you care, you can take a trip to days past and see what was so appealing to me by visiting the Wayback Machine’s archive of the site that captured my young mind here.

anyway, i’ve had the domain pointing to this page here since i’ve bought it, which is just a page indicating that the site is under new management, while mimicking the original site’s design and begging people to do the work for me and come up with a decent idea of what to do with the domain (it also links to the old owner’s new blog, which is almost as funny as the old rebel-alliance network). now i’ve pointed the domain name to this particular blog post that you currently have your stupid eyes on since i still have no clue what i’ll be doing with the domain.

but hey, comments are open, have at it.

follow me on twitter: @thelinear

the letters are me under various ridiculous pseudonyms acting like a moron to various companies. sometimes i get free stuff out of it, sometimes i get form letter responses, mostly i get ignored.

if i ever decide to write new letters, i’ll keep you posted.

here’s a case study.

This is a urinal from my work. For the past few weeks now, the sign you see above the urinal has been displayed. It’s a little hard to read the sign, so here’s a close-up:

Look, I’ve been working here for years. Literally, years. I’ve wasted more time at this job then I really care to contemplate. In all this time I’ve worked here, I’ve spent a fair share of it peeing at this very urinal. In all that time, never have I noticed a lack-of-flushing problem. I don’t know who wrote this note. Our janitor is a laid-back enough fellow that I don’t think he’d ever give a shit who didn’t flush the urinal, as long as everyone kept their piss inside of said urinal.

But now, thanks to this sign, any time anyone goes into the bathroom and approaches this urinal, they are greeted with this sight:

Maybe next time, leave well-enough alone and don’t start demanding we all start doing something we had, up until this point, already been doing anyway.

In December, after participating in NO SHAVE NOVEMBER and growing a mighty beard (which really isn’t too abnormal, I’m usually too lazy to shave), I made the not-so-well-thought-out agreement to participate in Mustache March. I also convinced a handful of my coworkers to do the same. After planning for months, and growing out a beard in February to ensure a spectacular mustache in March, my efforts have come to fruition.

Prior to shaving, full beard in effect

Originally my thinking was that, if I'm going to do this, do it right: Hogan 'Stache.

That proved to be a terrible idea, so I went with the 80's porno 'stache.

 And, so now, I am forced to walk around looking like a rapist. I have a job interview coming up this month, and anyone who willingly hires someone with a mustache is probably not someone I want as a boss anyway. I also have family gatherings to attend to this month, where I will have to explain my more-ridiculous-than-usual appearance. And, of course, not to mention the day-to-day chores and activities that will force me to be in the public’s judging eyes.

I am fucking dumb.